9 Things They Don't Tell You (Before You Have a Baby)

1. It's normal to feel overwhelmed.

If you feel like you’re drowning, you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just really hard. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re overwhelmed by it all. Postpartum brings on a cauldron of emotions. Joy, sadness, guilt, intense love, fear, and even anger, and sometimes these feelings can happen all in the same day. It’s a lot. But it’s normal, and you’re not alone. Trust us. It gets better.

2. You can wet the bed, but not in the way you think.

In those early days postpartum, your body needs to regulate its hormones and get rid of all that retained fluid you built up during pregnancy, which can result in night sweats. Add midnight milk leaks to the mix, and you may wake up some mornings with your pajamas and sheets soaked.

3. Everyone has an opinion.

Your mom, your mother-in-law, your best friend, your neighbor, or just a random person at the checkout counter. We can guarantee that anyone who has had a baby, and even some who haven’t, will have an opinion on how you should care for yours. Do your own research and ask for opinions from people you trust. After that, make your own decisions and stick to them without feeling guilty.

4. Some days you'll wish you were still pregnant.

While it has its challenges, being pregnant can be a wonderful time. People are nice to you, they ask about you, they make you cups of tea and offer you a seat. You can nap without feeling guilty, you can leave the house whenever you want and your partner is (most of the time) happy to be there for you. In the depths of postpartum sleep deprivation, you’ll find yourself looking back fondly on this moment. You may also simply miss your round belly and continue to rub it, just as you did when your little bundle was inside.

5. What works one day may not work the next day.

One day you discover a magic trick that solves that annoying problem and everything is fine. But a day or two later, a week at most, your tactics are blown out of proportion and you’re back to square one. The problem is that when you have a win, you raise your expectations that things will always work out that way. But tiny humans never operate in an orderly fashion. Understanding this from the start can help alleviate your inevitable frustration.

6. Back pain doesn’t go away when pregnancy ends.

If you’re experiencing persistent back stiffness and pain after giving birth, you’re not alone. The culprits could be pregnancy hormones that have loosened your ligaments and joints, tight abdominal muscles that were used to support your belly, which may have thrown your posture out of whack. And of course, bending over, lifting baby, and breastfeeding, which often involves holding your picky feeder at the perfect angle for them, but ultimately a back-straining position for you!

7. There is tiredness and there is a tired mother.

Pregnancy fatigue is real, but once you have a baby, there’s nothing in this world that can prepare you for what it feels like to get so little (and interrupted) sleep. And no, you can’t just “sleep when the baby sleeps!” Know that the stage of intense sleep deprivation isn’t forever, and invest in a good cup of coffee.

8. Your gorgeous locks may look a little dull.

Hair growth goes through phases, and while you’re pregnant, the shedding phase is on pause. So what happens when Mother Nature kicks in? Postpartum, all the hair you would have lost in the last nine months comes out relatively quickly, which can make you feel like you’re losing your hair.

9. No one is happy if mommy is not happy.

Whatever makes you happy and whatever you need to do to overcome it – do it. Don’t let “mom guilt” always take over. Self-care may feel indulgent in the moment, but it’s ultimately a gift to your kids if the end result is a happier, more engaged mom.